every person you ever meet has either been your mother once, or will be so in the future

Dear Readers,

I apologize for the delay between the last post and this one. I have been under the weather, so I hope you understand.

A reader commented on Friday's post about how difficult it really is to forgive and forget. I agree that this is easier said than done. Usually after a hurtful situation we seek an apology or revenge, but to just let it go.... that is not something most of us ever really want to do. But as mentioned in the Friday post, surrounding yourself by thoughts of misfortune and misdeeds from the past only furthers your misery.

In an effort to help us heals those wounds, there are two things one can meditate/reflect on to get closer to forgiving your enemies and thus ultimately forgetting the pain they caused you.

The first notion is to remember that in Buddhist philosophy, the universe is seen as having no beginning and no end. Thus people are born, reborn, and reborn again endlessly. If this is the case, then every person you ever meet has either been your mother once, or will be so in the future. Therefore everyone we ever meet deserves the same respect that we give our mothers.

I like to follow this notion even further. Not only has everyone once been your mother (or will be in the future) but as a parallel, everyone we meet has once been in the same predicament that we are now. Haven't you ever cut someone off on the road - maybe accidentally - or maybe you knew it was wrong but you were in a hurry? So then you can't really get angry the next time someone else cuts you off on the road. Maybe you once insulted someone with harmful words, whether by accident or out of anger. You may regret those words later, and may not have the chance to apologize. So too may the person who insulted you, be feeling that same way. Or in the example provided by Buddha, if you were born into a life of violence and poverty, you may very well beat and rob someone just to get money to survive. And because we live in a continual cycle of reincarnation, it is very likely you might be that violent robber one day (or once were in the past).

Projecting yourself into the life of your enemy makes it a little easier to see things from their perspective and thus understand and forgive their actions.